Church Planting 9 Years And Still Learning

9 years after starting a new church in NJ and we are still learning lessons. Here are some things we are finding ourselves reinvigorated by 9 years later;
 
The church as family
 
In our early years in NJ we were family. We lived within a mile of everyone on the original team. We borrowed each other's stuff. We hung out together regularly. We shared our goods and resources. We fought together like any good family does. We made peace again. We laughed, cried, wondered a lot about what the future might hold and did our best to keep Jesus front and center.
 
9 years later we are trying to do those very same things afresh with new people. It is a challenge with new people because living as family requires we build a healthy level of trust first. None of us are willing to offer ourselves whole-heartedly to a church family unless we trust the people. Trust, however, takes time especially if we have been hurt by people before. Most people would rather cocoon themselves from close relationships rather than experience the pain of broken trust again. Thankfully church in our homes has seemed to catapult us into closer connection with one another. We are finding this new context makes church as family seem easier to get to.
 
The need for a Jesus economy
 
Over the past 9 years we have come to rediscover the need for the church to live under the economy of Jesus again. The economies of capitalism, socialism and communism are insufficient for the church of Christ. The economy of Jesus says: 'those who have shall, out of the overflow of their hearts, give to those who have not.' Generosity is practiced in the church because it is the natural expression of having received such a generous gift in Jesus. When a congregation lives under the economy of Jesus we find that they have “no needy persons among them” (Acts 4:34) and, I believe, the Holy Spirit responds as He did in Acts 2 by working powerfully among them. Obedience always brings blessing.

The church of Christ in our present age has not been obedient to the Jesus economy. Even though we know theologically that we ought to live this way, we still treat our stuff as if it were our own and remain obnoxiously private with what the Lord has given us. This is often the case because it is preceeded by a failure to live as church family (#1 above). Many generous people exist in the church today but we are not close enough relationally to one another to know the needs of one another. Because we do not know each other we do not trust each other, and the majority of us will find it difficult to give to people if we have not yet built trust with them. On the other hand, having close relationships with one another we would readily give our shirts for each other. I believe it. I've seen it. This past Sunday a brother in Christ secretly handed me a card. I opened it later and read, “I always said when I’m blessed others will be blessed and when I’m not feeling God’s blessing, I must look to bless those around me...” Inside the card was $250 cash!

 

We are re-learning the need for the church to live under the Jesus economy. I suggest that it is our disobedience in this regard which most hinders the work of the Lord in America today.
 

Discipleship as Spiritual Parenting

This is something I have been learning in the past 3 or 4 years. Before that time I was not old enough or wise enough to spiritually parent anyone. Discipleship at its core is spiritual parenting. Protestants harp on the Catholics because they call their priests “Father”, and I think rightly so. This conviction comes from Jesus’ command in Matthew 23:9, “And do not call anyone on earth ‘father,’ for you have one Father, and he is in heaven.” Jesus gave this command against those who placed others on spiritual pedestals. It was against those who liked to be seen in the marketplace with their special clothing and special titles and who took the best seats in the synagogues because they thought they were somehow more worthy than others to sit there. To these Jesus said (paraphrasing here), “don’t call them rabbi, teacher, or father for you have one Father worthy of that kind of respect." However the idea of having a spiritual father that you follow is also very Biblical.

 

Paul the Apostle said to the church at Corinth, “I am writing this not to shame you but to warn you as my dear children. ¹⁵ Even if you had ten thousand guardians in Christ, you do not have many fathers, for in Christ Jesus I became your father through the gospel. ¹⁶ Therefore I urge you to imitate me” (1 Cor.4:14-16). Paul the Apostle clearly saw himself as a spiritual father to the church at Corinth. He considered them his spiritual children. However Paul was a spiritual father in affection not authority, and I think that's the necessary distinction. He would say elsewhere, “For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, ¹² encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory” (1 Thes.2:11-12). Paul was absolutely a spiritual father to many in his affections toward them.

 

Spiritual parenting (mothering or fathering) is as simple as it sounds. It is taking responsibility for the souls of new Christians and nurturing them to spiritual adulthood. For Jesus that took 3 years with 12 men walking with them on the roads of life, teaching and modeling as He went. Spiritual parenting involves asking others to walk alongside you for a time or it can involve your choice to walk alongside others who need a spiritual parent. Many adult Christians are weak and wavering today because they never had a spiritual father or mother intentionally come alongside them and nurture them. I know we are all busy in America but if we are too busy to mandate time to raise spiritual (adult) children then we are too busy to make disciples.

 

“Do you have a pulse?” or “Do you want to follow Jesus?”

 
Our perspective on church growth in the first few years in NJ was ‘if you have a pulse, come join us!’ For a long while we thought any increase in people was a good increase in people. We thought we were progressing as long as we were seeing new faces. However if you spend enough time with people you come to discover those who truly want to follow Jesus and those who just want their spiritual fill for the week or some other easy handout. When Jesus elected 72 persons to bring the message of the kingdom of God to the surrounding region He was very selective. A pulse was not enough to get you elected. Instead Jesus rather sternly weaned out those who were divided in heart. Jesus said, “Follow me.” But he replied, “Lord, first let me go and bury my father.” ⁶⁰ Jesus said to him, “Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and proclaim the kingdom of God.” ⁶¹ Still another said, “I will follow you, Lord; but first let me go back and say goodbye to my family.” ⁶² Jesus replied, “No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God” (Lk.9:59-62).

 

It appears to me that Jesus recruited people to accomplish His mission not by begging just any adjacent soul to join in- as if He could not accomplish His plan without them. Instead Jesus said, “I’m going. Who’s coming? If you are not in then get out”. As I have been time and time again frustrated by people of low resolve I have come to the conclusion that the best way to move forward in spreading the Gospel through the planting of new churches is to say, “I’m going, who’s coming?” There are those who are not ready to follow the Lord. Fine. We will pray that the Lord convicts their heart later on down the road before they die. But there are some who are ready now. To them we say, “I’m going. You coming?”

 

Maybe something we have experienced is helpful to you on your journey.