What They Really Need

Single, 2 children, working full-time, barely paying the bills, no family support, struggling with depression, always stressed, always on edge, never able to give her children all of her self for she always feels spent, dead end job, broken relationships, hopeless heart- what does this person need? The pat answer is "she needs Jesus" and I won't for a moment disagree with that. But how specifically does Jesus help her?

There is this flat belief in NJ today that as long as a person has food, clothing and shelter they have all they need. It's not a spoken belief but it is a practiced one. As an example, I got to visit with Violet on Friday. Violet is 87 years only, she has lived in the same house for 51 years and by the looks of things she lives a pretty comfortable life. I would venture to say that 90% of the world's population would opt to trade places with Violet if they could. She's living in America in a comfortable house in a safe neighborhood with enough money to live on. What more could a person ask for? However Violet does not have all she needs to survive. At the end of our brief visit on Friday Violet broke down and cried because she is discovering that the tangibles are not all she needs.

Violet will probably die in the next few years not because of an illness; not because she does not have everything the body needs to live on; not even because old age has set in. Violet will die because of purposelessness, loneliness and despair. Violet's tears were tears of pain. She feels useless to her family and her society. Her daughter checks in on her to make sure she is eating but that's about it. Violet is a testimony to the fact that what mankind needs is not bread alone.
Mankind needs Jesus. But how? That statement means the world, but only if we see how it connects to our experience of the world.

First of all mankind needs Jesus because there's not a single one of us that could ever stand before God, look Him in the eyes and not have our faces instantly burnt off as a result. No one has ever seen their Maker and lived and for this reason we all need a Mediator. We all need Jesus. A go-between. Someone to present us to the Father unblemished and prepared for Him. We need the blood of Jesus. We need His redemption. We need His forgiveness. In the globalest sense of the phrase we need Jesus because there is no way to the eternal Father except through Jesus (Jn.14:6).

Secondly though, we need Jesus because of what Jesus alone provides on earth. The single lady mentioned above and Violet, my 87 year old friend, need the same thing. They need a family of believers to walk with. What Violet knows better than anybody right now is that we cannot live alone. But what happens when, like the single mother above, the family breaks down? A deeper question is "Why did her family break down in the first place?" It broke down because at least one person in the family, probably the father or whoever was the leader of the family, did not have Jesus. That person lived selfishly. He aborted his family. He did not crucify his will to the Father's but followed his own evil desires. As a result his whole family broke down under his poor leadership. History is filled with examples of the long seasons of drought families and whole nations have experienced at the expense of one leader who chose his own will above his Maker's.

Let's ask the same question of Violet. Why is Violet living alone and feeling purposeless? I think we could identify three likely reasons: 1) Her children may actually believe that all their mother needs is food, clothing and shelter and have not considered the higher needs of love and purpose she is needing. 2) Violet and her husband lived without Jesus and so broke down their family over time- resulting in #1 above. Or, 3) Violet's family say they follow Christ but are not considering what "honor your mother and father" (Ex.20:12) means for their context. If Jesus were placed into any or all of the 3 scenarios above Violet's problem would be solved. People who love Jesus know there is more to life than food, shelter and clothing. People who love Jesus seek to remove all obstacles to spiritual growth for their children instead of creating obstacle by their own behavior. People who love Jesus will honor their mother and father even when their parents are grouchy, rude, obnoxious and down-right hard to live with. Jesus is the answer for them all.

The Lord Jesus designed His church in such a way as to provide for the needs of every orphan, every widow, and every handicapped person if they will but bow to Jesus and live as a functioning member of His family. Jesus has provided a place in His kingdom for every person who humbly submits to His kingdom laws. Under loving shepherds each church can effectively meet the needs of one another if they will "submit to one another out of reverence for Christ" (Eph.5:21). In His church Jesus provides every believer with a family, an economic backing (Acts 2:40ff, Acts 4:32-37), a village from which to raise children, a mission to seek and save the lost ones, and the reaffirming hope that Jesus is returning soon to take us out of this broken world.

What the world needs straight up is Jesus. Jesus is the answer. Jesus has not come to make the world Heaven, but He has come to redeem those in the world so that they can be with Him in Heaven. Jesus said, "The poor you will always have with you" (Mt.26:11). Yes, so long as there are people on earth living for themselves instead of for Jesus, we will have the poor among us. There will always be people who do not follow their Maker and therefore there will always be the poor. But Jesus did not mean by this that we should ever have destitute church members. In fact "Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever" (1 Tim.5:8).

I need regular reminders that in all the chaos and complication of the world Jesus is still the answer.

Rethinking the Lord's Supper and the Eldership

This new way of church-life (in our homes) is causing us to rethink some familiar church practices.

For example it is causing us to rethink the Lord's Supper. In the Hebrew culture the breaking of the bread was the official start of a meal together. It was the waving of the white flag to start the race. We can imagine that the father of the family, much like Jesus with His disciples on that betrayal night, held up the bread, gave thanks, broke it in view of all at the table, and dinner began. The father then passed the bread around the table as Jesus passed the bread to His disciples, but it did not stop with the bread; other foods were likely consumed as well. It was a meal. They would pass the potatoes, the squash, the pumpkin pie and the salad. And at the end of the meal the wine was passed for all to drink. The wine was like the checkered flag at the end of the meal stating, ‘our meal is now finished’. And if this were the way the majority of Hebrew families began and ended meal-time then Paul’s words in 1 Cor.11 make a lot more sense;

“In the same manner He also took the cup after supper, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in My blood. This do, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of Me” (1 Cor.11:25).

The power of this regular meal was not the actual bookends themselves (bread & wine), but the communing that took place between the people and their Lord and between the people and one another. As they ate and supped with Jesus so they ate and supped with one another. At the dinner table they would share about Jesus together. They would pray spontaneously as the need arose. They would confess to one another their struggles. They would give testimony to the Holy Spirit’s working in their lives, and as they did this the children probably chimed in with, “Mommy can I have more please”. We are not at present practicing the Lord's Supper as a meal on Sundays; however in this new context of ours it is clear to see how this might have been the way of the church in the beginning.

Church in our homes is also causing us to rethink the eldership of the church. In Acts 14 we read of the Apostles appointing elders in every church in the cities of Lystra, Iconium, and Antioch (see Acts 14:21-23) and it is common to assume that the Apostles went to specific church buildings in these cities to do this; but this is not how it happened. The Apostles went house to house because each church resided in a house. To appoint elders in every church in Lystra, Iconium and Antioch was to appoint elders in every house-church. These elders were the spiritual fathers of the church family and would be responsible for identifying "faithful men who will be able to teach others also" (2 Tim.2:2).

Paul's instructions to Titus makes more sense when we consider that the church met in their homes. Titus 1:5 says,

"For this reason I left you in Crete, that you should set in order the things that are lacking, and appoint elders in every city as I commanded you—"

If each house-church had an elder or two as seems to be the pattern chosen in Acts 14, then to "appoint elders in ever city" simply meant to appoint elders in every house-church in the city. The modern day problem of having too many people for one pastor to care for disappears when a church is a house-church, A house-church likely consistsed of approximately 20 people and one elder can certainly care for 20 souls responsibly.

These things and many more we are rethinking as we practice now the house-church model at BCC. Please pray for the Lord's guidance as we experience many new changes which, we pray, will be advancing for the kingdom of Christ in NJ.

Church Planting 9 Years And Still Learning

9 years after starting a new church in NJ and we are still learning lessons. Here are some things we are finding ourselves reinvigorated by 9 years later;
 
The church as family
 
In our early years in NJ we were family. We lived within a mile of everyone on the original team. We borrowed each other's stuff. We hung out together regularly. We shared our goods and resources. We fought together like any good family does. We made peace again. We laughed, cried, wondered a lot about what the future might hold and did our best to keep Jesus front and center.
 
9 years later we are trying to do those very same things afresh with new people. It is a challenge with new people because living as family requires we build a healthy level of trust first. None of us are willing to offer ourselves whole-heartedly to a church family unless we trust the people. Trust, however, takes time especially if we have been hurt by people before. Most people would rather cocoon themselves from close relationships rather than experience the pain of broken trust again. Thankfully church in our homes has seemed to catapult us into closer connection with one another. We are finding this new context makes church as family seem easier to get to.
 
The need for a Jesus economy
 
Over the past 9 years we have come to rediscover the need for the church to live under the economy of Jesus again. The economies of capitalism, socialism and communism are insufficient for the church of Christ. The economy of Jesus says: 'those who have shall, out of the overflow of their hearts, give to those who have not.' Generosity is practiced in the church because it is the natural expression of having received such a generous gift in Jesus. When a congregation lives under the economy of Jesus we find that they have “no needy persons among them” (Acts 4:34) and, I believe, the Holy Spirit responds as He did in Acts 2 by working powerfully among them. Obedience always brings blessing.

The church of Christ in our present age has not been obedient to the Jesus economy. Even though we know theologically that we ought to live this way, we still treat our stuff as if it were our own and remain obnoxiously private with what the Lord has given us. This is often the case because it is preceeded by a failure to live as church family (#1 above). Many generous people exist in the church today but we are not close enough relationally to one another to know the needs of one another. Because we do not know each other we do not trust each other, and the majority of us will find it difficult to give to people if we have not yet built trust with them. On the other hand, having close relationships with one another we would readily give our shirts for each other. I believe it. I've seen it. This past Sunday a brother in Christ secretly handed me a card. I opened it later and read, “I always said when I’m blessed others will be blessed and when I’m not feeling God’s blessing, I must look to bless those around me...” Inside the card was $250 cash!

 

We are re-learning the need for the church to live under the Jesus economy. I suggest that it is our disobedience in this regard which most hinders the work of the Lord in America today.
 

Discipleship as Spiritual Parenting

This is something I have been learning in the past 3 or 4 years. Before that time I was not old enough or wise enough to spiritually parent anyone. Discipleship at its core is spiritual parenting. Protestants harp on the Catholics because they call their priests “Father”, and I think rightly so. This conviction comes from Jesus’ command in Matthew 23:9, “And do not call anyone on earth ‘father,’ for you have one Father, and he is in heaven.” Jesus gave this command against those who placed others on spiritual pedestals. It was against those who liked to be seen in the marketplace with their special clothing and special titles and who took the best seats in the synagogues because they thought they were somehow more worthy than others to sit there. To these Jesus said (paraphrasing here), “don’t call them rabbi, teacher, or father for you have one Father worthy of that kind of respect." However the idea of having a spiritual father that you follow is also very Biblical.

 

Paul the Apostle said to the church at Corinth, “I am writing this not to shame you but to warn you as my dear children. ¹⁵ Even if you had ten thousand guardians in Christ, you do not have many fathers, for in Christ Jesus I became your father through the gospel. ¹⁶ Therefore I urge you to imitate me” (1 Cor.4:14-16). Paul the Apostle clearly saw himself as a spiritual father to the church at Corinth. He considered them his spiritual children. However Paul was a spiritual father in affection not authority, and I think that's the necessary distinction. He would say elsewhere, “For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, ¹² encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory” (1 Thes.2:11-12). Paul was absolutely a spiritual father to many in his affections toward them.

 

Spiritual parenting (mothering or fathering) is as simple as it sounds. It is taking responsibility for the souls of new Christians and nurturing them to spiritual adulthood. For Jesus that took 3 years with 12 men walking with them on the roads of life, teaching and modeling as He went. Spiritual parenting involves asking others to walk alongside you for a time or it can involve your choice to walk alongside others who need a spiritual parent. Many adult Christians are weak and wavering today because they never had a spiritual father or mother intentionally come alongside them and nurture them. I know we are all busy in America but if we are too busy to mandate time to raise spiritual (adult) children then we are too busy to make disciples.

 

“Do you have a pulse?” or “Do you want to follow Jesus?”

 
Our perspective on church growth in the first few years in NJ was ‘if you have a pulse, come join us!’ For a long while we thought any increase in people was a good increase in people. We thought we were progressing as long as we were seeing new faces. However if you spend enough time with people you come to discover those who truly want to follow Jesus and those who just want their spiritual fill for the week or some other easy handout. When Jesus elected 72 persons to bring the message of the kingdom of God to the surrounding region He was very selective. A pulse was not enough to get you elected. Instead Jesus rather sternly weaned out those who were divided in heart. Jesus said, “Follow me.” But he replied, “Lord, first let me go and bury my father.” ⁶⁰ Jesus said to him, “Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and proclaim the kingdom of God.” ⁶¹ Still another said, “I will follow you, Lord; but first let me go back and say goodbye to my family.” ⁶² Jesus replied, “No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God” (Lk.9:59-62).

 

It appears to me that Jesus recruited people to accomplish His mission not by begging just any adjacent soul to join in- as if He could not accomplish His plan without them. Instead Jesus said, “I’m going. Who’s coming? If you are not in then get out”. As I have been time and time again frustrated by people of low resolve I have come to the conclusion that the best way to move forward in spreading the Gospel through the planting of new churches is to say, “I’m going, who’s coming?” There are those who are not ready to follow the Lord. Fine. We will pray that the Lord convicts their heart later on down the road before they die. But there are some who are ready now. To them we say, “I’m going. You coming?”

 

Maybe something we have experienced is helpful to you on your journey.