Trust is a hard thing to establish with people today. The more media we consume the less we trust in mankind. What filters into our sensory organs everyday is mostly the stuff which leads us to distrust our neighbor. We grow to believe that everyone has some dark secret under their sleave which only the process of time will reveal. "He seemed like such a kind man whenever we spoke", is a familiar phrase to describe the serial killer after he is caught. How do we as Christians establish trust with our neighbors when time and time again people are finding their first impressions about their neighbors so wrong? It's an important question to consider for unless we have their trust we shall not gain their following.
Here are a couple suggestions on buildling trust in our communities that I have found effective for the church today.
- Do everything for the glory of God
As Christians we are to do all things for the glory of God (see 1 Cor.10:31). When we do all things for the glory of God then we will do all things well and with the upmost of integrity and honesty. When we begin to do things for lesser reasons (i.e. because it feels good, in order to make money, because we have to, etc.) we will inevitably do those things with less diligence and genuineness than if we did it to glorify God.
- Do not have alterior motives
A gentleman comes into the Foodbank every so often to "get food for my neighbor". That is the pat reason he gives for coming to the Foodbank anyway. The real reason he comes is to find opportunities to use his gift of evangelism to speak to people in line about Christ. Praise God for his desire to make Christ known! However this man is distrusted by the Foodbank workers because they know he is not being truthful as to why he is really there. They believe his story about "food for my neighbor" is a crock. It's made up but they can't prove it. Since he has not made his primary reason known but is instead using the Foodbank for other reasons, he is not trusted by the Foodbank workers. Consequently he has hampered his ability to share Christ with them. They don't trust him.
- Genuinely love people for no other reason than that Jesus loves people
If we want to build the trust of people we cannot engage in relationships with people for any lesser reason than to love them as Jesus loves them. As we genuinely love them without conversational tricks we will build their trust and create a platform for ourselves from which to say,
"I hope you know that I care about you and pray for your soul often".
Here's how trust has been built in my life recently: I have been serving at the Foodbank for about 8 months now. When I am there I am very curious about the lives of the Foodbank workers. I ask them about themselves. I continue conversations about familiy members we had from last time. I tell them
"I will be in prayer about that for you", and I am. I hide nothing. I say I am there to help out and help out is exactly what I do. I work hard to make them appreciate my help. I inquire about them because I genuinely care about them. They all know I am a preacher and they respect me for it. The Lord has given me their trust now and I see cool things happening as a result;
- The head lady at the Foodbank now introduces me to people who are in need of more than just food
Last Tuesday morning she pulled me aside quietly and said,
"Do you know the lady that is at the desk right now?" I did not know her. She said,
"I want you to go talk to her; she needs more help than just food." I helped her to her car and learned that her daughter in law had just passed away 2 weeks ago and she now had custody of her grandchildren. Her heart was greatly burdened by this sudden change in life. We talked for a bit outside and then I gave her my information. I let her know that if nothing else I had two good ears that were always available to her. I hope she will call.
- The head lady at the Foodbank also informs me about other people she knows, not affiliated with the Foodbank, who need spiritual guidance
She recently introduced me to Joe who works for the Township. One Tuesday morning she pulled me aside, told me about Joe, told me where his office was, and told me to get out of the Foodbank and go talk to him for he was really struggling. Fearing her reprimand if I did not I went! I had a great conversation with Joe in his office and we set up to have coffee together at a Dunkin Donuts to talk more. Joe came to our SuperBowl gathering recently where he and I connected and talked a lot about faith and life.
I believe these opportunities are open to me right now because the Lord has helped me establish the trust of the Foodbank workers. If I was not trusted by them people neither would they entrust to me their burdens, their souls, their experiences or the counsel of their friends.
How can you establish the trust of those you are with regularly? Once trust is established I think you will find evangelism rather natural.